On Media

Coming home from ECFE tonight, my mind is full of thoughts about this evening's discussion.  We discussed media and its impact on our children's lives.  Jeff and I have been pretty adamantly anti-screen time with Leif since he was a baby.  I remember a moment of mental clarity in the midst of the fog of being a first time parent with a newborn.  Leif was asleep in my arms and I was trying to get caught up on facebook while he napped.  At one point I looked down at Leif and he was wide awake staring at me with a very inquisitive look on his face.  It was one of the first times he was really studying and looking at me and I almost missed it.  I thought for a moment that nothing is more important than this nonverbal connection between me and my little boy.  And I thought, Leif deserves better than this.  I am not going to be a half attentive parent who multitasks between their online presence and their interactions with their kids.  From that point on, I was really good about only going online when Leif was already in bed.  Leif never watched a show, a movie or even a 30 second youtube clip until he was over the age of 2.  The only screen time he had was video chatting with my family.  But as his quest for independence developed and the challenges of parenting have become more complicated, screen temptation has set in.  Juggling the needs of a 3-year-old and a 5-month-old can be exhausting.  When there is dinner to be made or laundry to be folded, the Magic School Bus or Mister Rogers are incredibly inviting.

Tonight's discussion with other parents reignited the thoughts and feelings I had about media from when Leif was a baby.  My parent educator/guru said something tonight that I've heard her say before, but I needed to hear it again.  "When your child is in front of a screen, what is he not doing?"  So with the kids sound asleep, I am now thinking about what Leif is not doing when he is in front of a screen.  The easy answers are "he is not demanding my attention", "he is not making a mess", and "he is not in the way of x, y and z."  But here are the real answers that I need to keep in mind.

1.  He is not reading a book.
2.  He is not building a tower with blocks.
3. He is not singing a song.
4.  He is not pretending a stick is a guitar.
5.  He is not making his sister laugh.
6.  He is not drawing a picture.
7.  He is not outside.
8.  He is not pretending his bear is at the doctor.
9.  He is not turning the couch into a canoe and paddling down the Mississippi.
10.  He is not looking out the window.
11.  He is not picking flowers in our yard.
12.  He is not turning the chairs and kitchen stools into a bus.
13.  He is not cutting magazines and gluing the pieces.
14.  He is not playing his ukelele.
15.  He is not planting a garden.
16.  He is not learning to measure and pour ingredients.
17.  He is not hearing silence.
18.  He is not riding his bike.
19.  He is not climbing a tree.
20.  He is not imagining that he is a firefighter and using a shoelace as a fire hose.
21.  He is not telling me about his day at preschool.
22.  He is not playing school and pretending to be Miss Elisa.
23.  He is not putting a plastic bin on his head and pretending it is an oxygen mask for scuba diving.
24.  He is not tickling his sister and laughing when he sees her smile.
25.  He is not painting a picture and mixing colors to see what they make.
26.  He is not baking cookies with play dough.
27.  He is not building a train track and pretending to make a delivery.
28.  He is not taking our junkmail and acting as a mailman, putting letters in different kitchen cabinets.
29.  He is not making up silly rhymes.
30.  He is not doing an experiment with sand, water and mud.
31.  He is not swinging on his swingset.
32.  He is not building a snowman.
33.  He is not learning how to pick a raspberry without squishing it.
34.  He is not asking me about my work.
35.  He is not turning the fireplace hearth into a stage and performing a show.
36.  He is not imagining or wondering.
37.  He is not putting clothes on his doll.
38.  He is not turning the ottoman into a cajon and pounding a rhythm.
39.  He is not playing hide-and-seek.
40.  He is not learning the rules of Candyland.
41.  He is not building a fort.
42.  He is not noticing the clouds and saying that he thinks it might rain.
43.  He is not cutting the clover flowers with scissors pretending to be the Oncler cutting down truffula trees.
44.  He is not finding out what snow tastes like.
45.  He is not discovering just how far he can push the balloon before it pops.
46.  He is not pretending to be a doctor and using a crayon as a shot.
47.  He is not learning that he can play on his own and doesn't need a playtime manager.
48.  He is not telling a joke.
49.  He is not dramatically reenacting the day's events.

And last, but not least,
50.  He is not learning to hear his thoughts and be present in the moment.

We are never going to be a family with no screens, nor are we delusional in thinking that technology will not play an important role in our kids' lives.  But we are going to continue to keep screens rare and reserved for special family movie nights or long airplane trips.  I will not use them as pacifiers because I don't think it is helping my children's development of emotional regulation.  Childhood is quick; I don't want my children to waste it in front of a screen.  I want them to fully experience childhood with all of their senses, feel all of their emotions, and have amazing memories to look back on.

Halloween 2013 (pics to come soon)

Yesterday we took Leif trick-or-treating down our block and back.  He was a little bit timid when approaching each house, but once he was at the door, he would say "Thank you!"  Then Leif tried out his skills at scaring and would say, "BOOOOOOOOO!" Some neighbors played along and respond with "Ahhh!" or "You scared me!"By the time we got back to our end of the block, Leif said he was all done.  Layla tagged along with us in her little blue bird costume.  I wore a sorting hat and Jeff dressed up like a backpacker with pots and pans hanging from his pack.  While we were out, Grace handed out treats at our house.  It was a slow night and started raining later, so we ended up with a very large bowl of left over chocolate.  I will need to hide it from myself.  :)  Leif had fun eating a few treats before brushing his teeth.

The week was filled with Halloween activities, so we are a little worn out at this point.  On Sunday, we went to Como Zoo for the Zoo Boo.  Leif and Layla trick-or-treated around the zoo.  There were many fun (non-candy) treats along the way including an animal themed dominoes game.  The police and fire departments were also there and Leif was very excited to be able to see a firetruck, talk to a fireman, and sit in the back of a police car.

For being the zoo, we didn't see many animals.  I think many were moved to warmer weather for the winter or kept inside.  We did get to see the polar bears, reindeer, bison and mountain goat.  Leif was more interested in the zoo volunteers dressed up as characters and animals instead.  Each area had a different theme, African animals, under the sea, arctic, pirates and fairy tales.  Leif's favorites were seeing a mermaid, Belle, and some Jedi's.  He yelled "Light savers!" when he saw them.  :)  (It's funny what he has already picked up without even seeing any of these movies.)  At the end of the night, Leif got to do pumpkin bowling and have some apple cider.

On Tuesday we carved pumpkins at home.  This was Leif's first time carving.  In past years, he has colored on pumpkins with markers instead.  He had a lot of fun scooping the "goop" and managed to but a little of the pumpkin, with my help. Then he asked me to finish.  Leif would help me push the piece out after I cut it.  Jeff carved a scary face, of course.  My pumpkin had a handlebar mustache.

Wednesday night we went to a Halloween craft night at the Unitarian church.  Leif was able to make a pipe cleaner spider, a fall placemat, a halloween stamp picture and got his face painted.  At the end of the evening we got to watch The Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown and eat popcorn.

Yesterday, Leif and Layla wore their costumes to preschool and daycare.  Leif's costume was a little cumbersome so he didn't wear it all day.  Layla stayed dressed as a little bird all day and was trying to roll over when I came to pick her up.  They had a fun Halloween party at school and Leif brought home a fun bag of non-edible treats.  We have enough stickers and tattoos to last us for years.

So, it was a busy and very memorable Halloween.  We are going to take it easy this weekend save our energy for the next holiday.

Jeff's Mediterranean Hummus

Jeff created this recipe for hummus a few years ago.  He scientifically adjusted the amount of each ingredient until it tasted like his favorite store bought hummus.  I think his version is much better.  I don't know if it is the quality of the ingredients or what, but it tastes richer and creamier than anything I've every had from a store.  This recipe is delicious!  Leif has been known to put the pita aside and just eat it with a spoon.  Enjoy!

1 – 16 oz can of chick peas
2 Tbsp lemon juice
1 large garlic clove (careful! Fresh garlic is way more strong)
3/8 cup tahini (could cut this in half)
1/2 tsp salt
¼ c. olive oil
1 Tbsp dry parsley (this is asthetic only)
1/8 tsp cayenne
3/8 cup water

Blend until smooth in a food processor or blender.  Eat with pita, fresh veggies or spread on a sandwich. 

Quiet Book

I am part of a monthly meal exchange and a member of the group suggested we do a quiet book page swap.  I loved this idea since we spend so much time traveling.  I thought Leif would enjoy a book with activities on each page to keep him occupied in the car or airplane.

Our group came up with standard dimensions and brainstormed activity ideas.  Then each member made 8 copies of their design.  We then swapped them with each other so everyone ended up with 8 different pages.  It was much easier doing one page multiple times then make 8 separate designs.  Here is the progress so far.

I made the page that looks like a cherry pie where you can weave the pie crust.  I originally planned to also include a napkin to fold, but then ran out of energy.  I will try to come up with something to fill the empty space in the future.  

I took each page and matched them up.  I sewed thin batting to the wrong side of one of the pages. 

 Then I pinned it, right sides together, to its pair and sewed those together like you would if you were making a pillow.  

I then turned them right side out, sewed up the opening and then ironed each page flat.  The next step was to add two grommets to each page.  I then connected them with binder rings from an office supply store.  I thought this was the best way for me to bind the book, so that I have the ability to add more pages in the future.

Even though I was still not finished with the cover, I gave the completed pages to Leif and he began playing with them immediately.  

Tonight I finished the design of the cover.   It is felt and ribbon appliqued on vinyl.  I wanted a material for the cover that could handle the beatings and messiness of travel.  I will work on putting the backing onto the cover in the next few days.

This has been a really fun project to work on and my head is swimming with more ideas.  I will slowly add to this book overtime and post updates.  The group is already talking about a second round!